


Buck up

by purplefox



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 06:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15261609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplefox/pseuds/purplefox
Summary: Sometimes Kon is just tired of it all. Sometimes he needs to be free in his own space doing something when it gets to be too much.





	Buck up

So the thing was that he was actually tired of being the one on the outside looking in. Lex never did that to him. No, his Dad was an actual fucking father. He did better than most the people in the League and he cared.

He asked questions, he looked out for Kon and while he let his boredom get to him he was actually better than most people. He saw the dark well inside of Kon and instead of panicking he found ways to talk to him.

Lex was better than half of them. He gave Kon a place to come back to, besides the LexCorp tower, where could he go? Where else did he belong?

Tim was his friend but Batman was terrifying. To depend on the Batman like that would not feel right. Besides Batman and Superman had to work together, it was better not to drag them into his feelings and his mess.

He wanted to do something to chase away the feeling on his skin. Dive deep, fly high or something. He felt upset. He felt tired and damn it to hell he needed something because he could not go home with the mood he was in.

He did not want his Dad to hear through him. He did not want to speak the words into existence. He hated being on the outside looking in, he did not want to have to deal with this too.

Just once he would like things to not be fucked up or complicated. Things had not be perfect but it had been feeling better than usual. Lessons had been going good, the lectures had gone down. It had been doing fine until that.

Was he happy? How could he be, at the end of the day he was strangers to the both of them and someone looking through the window to their lives. They had done everything they could do to keep him at arm’s length. That was the both of them.

He was only interesting when he was being useful. The harsh truth, the disgusting truth but they would never admit it and neither of them would write it either. They always had something to say to him. Always had a lecture ready or a judgement but in the end he was to be as far away from them as possible.

Well tonight Kon wanted the same. He wanted to be away from them as possible. He wanted to outrace the injustice. Outrace the feeling on his skin. He wanted to pretend none of this never happened but of course it did.

Of course it did and of course it was them, when Lex was involved he was to be treated with suspicion. That was until the moment came that they wanted something from Lex of course. Then it was different, then he was supposed to help.

He was tired of it. He was tired of them, fuck the decision. Fuck the ruling and what people thought, he had one father, one parent and he did not need them throwing in his face what they really thought.

All he had was Lex, all he had was Lex and Mercy. Everyone at LexCorp who worked directly for his Dad. Those who built his shit and helped with tests, those that admired his Dad and wanted the world his Dad wanted.

That was where he belonged, nowhere else and with nothing else. His fingers bunched in his shirt. He wanted to rip it off and burn the S away. What hope? He had been clinging to hope all this time and where did that get him? What had he gotten from it? Where was that hope now?

Fuck hope.

Fuck Clark and anyone else who wanted to hold his hand. Kon was done.

All he wanted now was to pretend that none of this shit had ever mattered. He had to fight to release his own shirt but he took a few breaths to settle himself before he soared high up and made for the west coast.

The wind was cold but he barely felt it. He was so high up all he could see was the lights in the sky. That barely mattered as he neared his destination. When made his dive he had to slow down so that glass citywide would not shatter along with eardrums.

His hands were steady when he keyed in his passcode to the condo. The lights came on with his entrance but he ignored it and got in the elevator instead. The glass in the elevator infuriated him and he tossed off the shirt in a rage. He stared at the shirt on the ground before the doors slid open. Deliberately he stepped on it as he made his way into the dim garage.

His closet did not have much but it had enough. He pushed his hair back, put back on the shades he had ditched when he had first started trying like a fool. The earrings went back in. a tight purple shirt went on and a half jacket followed.

His bike called to him and Kon answered the call as he laced up his gloves.

Fuck the rest of it. It was just him and his bike. Them and the streets, he was done trying for people who were just going to starve him. He would rather be him, be honest and free than tie himself down for another fucking second.

He was tired, enough was enough. He slipped the keys from the glass case by his safe and slid on his bike. He was Kon-El Luthor, a boy that needed a break in the worst way. The bike purred to life and he sat on it savouring the feeling before he revved the engine. Everything had sensors so when he roared out the garage the lift was waiting and ready to launch him out.

Right away the roads relaxed him, there was just the sound loud in his ears. The sound of the engine under him and the wind whipping around him. He laughed into the night because he felt more relaxed now than he had in days.

Worth it.

X

Knowing how creepy Bats were, Jason must have been tailing him for a while. He had only become aware of him after he had popped a wheelie down a short street and came back the way he had come. It had been a surprise to see the red bike and rider with a red helmet.

He had not even known that Jason was out the West Coast’s side but the Bats never dropped an itinerary or anything like that. Today they were somewhere and who knew where they would be later or even who.

Still after realizing he was not going to shake Jason off he set off for the highway and the road to out of town. Jason’s pulled level with him as they raced down the road side by side. Jason’s red bike and his purple down the dim highway.

It did not even feel out of place, when the road curved by the ocean the sound of the waves added to the feeling and sound. What Kon was hearing and seeing, that was freedom at night. That was what he needed.

He and Jason, they drove level with each other. Pulled stunts before settled for zipping down highways side by side. When they reached a high point over the water Kon slowed down. He parked and kicked down his stand as he watched the dark sea.

Jason was by his side silent before his helmet disengaged with a hiss. “Think you’ll be alright?” Jason asked as he hung his helmet on his bike handles.

“No.” Kon admitted. “But I’ll make it through this and I’ll be even stronger than before. I’ll be harder.” He admitted. “This changes things, I’ve got a lot to deal with but at the end of the day I have Dad, I have LexCorp and Mercy. The titans are cool, Tim’s my best friend.” He smiled. “I didn’t lose anything. I just thought the thing I wanted I would eventually have. I’ll be okay, I’ve got everything I had before.”

“That doesn’t make it right.” Jason said softly. “You got a right to be pissed, you should maybe say something.”

“Jason.” Kon said softly. “I can’t. people don’t get it but I’m the grey. I’m between them and I’ll always be between them. I can’t step too close or away, I have to remain the grey always to protect and save my Dad. I say something about this I inch that bit closer to the black.” He admitted. “I give in then it’s a long slippery slope to where I fulfill plenty assumptions about me.”

“We don’t want that.” Jason muttered. “You talk pretty Bat sometimes.”

“He’s my mentor sometimes.” Kon shrugged. “But this really opened my eyes to somethings Lex doesn’t like to think about. My Dad’s stronger than I thought, he had so many chances to do something bad. To do what’s expected, to make it hurt and he did nothing.”

“B always wondered about that too but at the end of the day Luthors don’t do what you want them to do.” Jason leaned forward on his bike. “But keeping it inside guarantees that you’ll snap on somebody. The wrong body.”

“I want to hurt them.” Kon admitted. “As much as I was hurt, I want them to feel this. I don’t know if that is the child speaking in me or not. I want to knock anyone who feels happy for them in the teeth. I don’t want it to happen. I want the day to be ruined by an invasion or something. I want them to ask me for something one day so I can walk away and keep them far away from me and mines.” His voice cracked at the last bit and he clenched his hands. “I know why I feel the way I do and its okay, I’ll remain grey.”

“You shouldn’t have to put up with this shit. You’re like seventeen.” Jason muttered. “I can’t believe no one sees the problem.”

“They don’t care.” Kon said dryly. “They don’t see.” He admitted. “I’m to bite my tongue when they trample over my shit but-“

“You shouldn’t have to wish them anything. Tell them fuck off and eat dirt.” Jason leaned back on his bike. “Fuck them, you deserve better.”

“I do have better.” Kon said softly. “Lex, LexCorp. Mercy, Charity, Hope, Impulse, Tim, you, the rest of the Batclan-“

“Please don’t call it that.”

“Catwoman.” Kon continued. “And the people from… ah.”

“I saw Tim’s logs. You’re safe.”

“Oh thank god.” Kon breathed. “But I have better, I’m not going to cry now. I’m giving up on watching through windows. I have my own thing to do.”

X

“But I have better, I’m not going to cry now. I’m giving up on watching through windows. I have my own thing to do.” Kon’s voice was slightly distorted as it came through the speakers to the meeting room. Bruce flicked the speaker off before he glared in Clark’s direction.

“You’re an idiot.” He hissed. “What. Were. You. Thinking. What were either of you thinking?”

“That I wanted to share a happy moment with people I work and care about?” Clark answered back before Bruce glared again. “Look I didn’t know Conner would get upset. I didn’t think he would care.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t.” Bruce snorted before he rolled his eyes. He pinched his nose before he gave a heavy sigh. “He sees the real situation. He isn’t upset about the proposal or marriage. We’ve seen this happening for some time. He sees the future that will follow. There is no room for him Clark. You never made room for him, Lois never made room for him. Neither of you accepted him and Lois writes ridiculous articles on him depending on her mood and how pissed she is at Lex at the moment.” Clark did not get to open his mouth before Bruce cut him off. “You know its true.”

“Lex is not a good person.” Clark did not know why he had to keep reminding people of this. “Kon shouldn’t get dragged into our battles of course but he’s the one that decided to live with Lex.”

“Blame yourself.” Bruce said tiredly. “That kid hates you, he wants nothing to do with you. I’m warning you now at least try to patch things up before you get married. Beg Lex if you have to because he isn’t Lex but he isn’t a shiny blue scout either.”

X

“Now that we’ve stopped for gas what you wanna do?” Jason’s candy wrapper made a graceful soar to the bin before it floated in. “Dawn’s coming.”

“Pity we’re so far from Gotham I could use a drink.” Kon sighed. “Guess we run for a bit more? Somewhere far from metropolis.” His Dad had to know where he was and by this time, what had him pissed off. Let’s just see where the road leads for now.” He straddled his bike and waited for Jason to get back on his. “Let’s go.” Already he felt at peace


End file.
